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Holler Poodles!

Return to 3 Flags Over Here (Pt 2).

After my dear friend Selma B. Hole was thrown out released from the hospital, it took her a couple of hours days and a case box of wine to recuperate from her injuries. We returned 3 weeks later on a Sunday to continue our review of “3 Flags Over Here” in beautiful downtown Jonesboro.

Naturally, we headed to the buffet first thing because we like to eat. They had some kinda restaurant combo like Waffle House+Huddle House+Out House combined. I’ve never seen food go through people so fast in my life. Because I couldn’t find an empty stall I’m a lady, I held it in. Big Mistake!

Selma wanted to hear the children’s choir singing so she pushed her way through the tens of people crowd to see all the kids dressed in little white robes. It just so happens it was also the entrance to their version of the Sky Coaster called the Rim Shot. Selma begged for us to go on it. It’s that ride that’s like a bungee jump off a 10 story building and hang-gliding all in one.

Needless to say, we were ill prepared looking cute in our white mini skirts and matching tube tops. They hauled us up to the top with a crane while the voices of those little angels on the ground filled the air. The attendant yelled “Pull the tab when you’re ready!” I told Selma I thought I was gonna hurl cause the food wasn’t sitting right and she said she thought she was too. We asked to get down but they said the only way down was to pull the cord. So Selma pulls the cord and I immediately start spewing out my mouth and unbeknownst to me, Selma starts spewing out her rear. All I could see as we made the initial pass over the little angels below was eggs, grits, ham, pancakes, hashbrowns and sausage raining all over the kids below. But as we went backwards, Selma’s duty chute of destruction had managed to dive bomb a few of the kids and knock some of them out cold while the other children ran screaming off.

Later, as we were washing up in the kiddie pool restroom, I could only laugh at the conversation between two ladies outside talking about the new “aerial water feature” she saw from a distance. Said it looked like The Bellagio’s dancing fountains. Selma almost swallowed her teeth.

Next week is the final installment of my review! Until then…

Love and lashes,

Mary Edith Pitts

If you have any questions, comments or feedback, please contact me at maryedith99@gmail.com or on twitter @maryedithpitts.