Mary Edith Pitts’ Quintessential Gift Giving Guide.

 

Holler Poodles!!

 

I know this may not be true surprise some of you but many desperate businessmen manufacturers have been hounded by me contact me to test out many products for the holiday season. They know I’ll put my name on anything the stringent guidelines I have for putting my stamp of approval on their product. I’m proud to recommend the following for your holiday gift giving.

 

Dragimals-Much like Hatchimals where a cute creature hatches from an egg, with Dragimals, you send in a picture of your child and when the glittery egg hatches, “surprise”, they are in drag. Complete with drag name, a set of pearls and the gift that keeps giving, glitter. wwwhasbroken.com ($39.99)

 

Mary Edith Pitts’ Poo Party-The makers of Poopouri contacted me to come up with my own line of scents. When I gave it some thought, I was like “I’m really proud of my scent! Why should I cover it up?” Then I farted and passed out and upon awakening poof!–a moment of inspiration. I should pair the smell with a complementary one much like a sommelier pairs a fine wine with your dinner. After months and months of testing, I’m proud to roll one out. Simply ascertain the correct smell with a couple of waves of your hand and then select the complementary smell and spray. …

 

Poo Smell                                                                                          Complementary Smell

Rotten Eggs                                                                            Bacon with a hint of hot sauce

Pepperoni Pizza                                                                      Mushrooms and Parmesan Cheese

Krystal’s Belly Bombs                                                             Tequila and a Bad Memory

Hot Wings                                                                               Blue Cheese

Bean Burrito                                                                            Queso with Jalapenos

Varsity Hot Dog & Onion Rings                                              Frosted Orange

 

Imagine the joy when your partner walks in the bathroom after your morning ritual to say “Honey, that smells like onion rings and frosted orange–Let’s go to the Varsity for lunch!” www.yourshitstinks.com

 

Happy Holidays!

 

Love and lashes,

 

Mary Edith Pitts

 

Mary Edith Pitts’s Pro Tip:

Sponsored by Norcostco Atlanta Costume

Ladies–You have to try out the new Ben Nye Shimmer Crayons. These high-intensity shimmer crayons glide on like liquid metal. Immediately blendable and smudgeable, colors magically “set” to a waterproof finish within minutes. Once set, you buff lightly with fingers to intensify brilliance. Safe for eyes. Mary Edith Pitts Grade A+

 

0 comments

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>